I’ve been thinking about the teacher who let the class vote on whether a disruptive classmate should be allowed to return to class. I don’t have anything from my daughter’s younger years to compare this to. Except RAA Middle School in Tallahassee Florida.

This school had a dress code, just like the elementary school where the kid got voted out of class. This school also had an insane principle. She was cruel to my daughter in many ways. Brianna was never disruptive, she is in fact very shy. (I know, hard to believe a child with my genes could be shy, but it’s true). She always was concerned with following the rules to the letter – she still gets very upset if she is breaking a rule of any sort.

Well, RAA’s dress code required the students to wear a belt. Brianna had at least two detentions for not wearing a belt. For the second offense, she realized she had forgotten it and went to the office to tell them. She started crying, and the principal later told her – oh I remember you – you are the little girl who cries.  The dress code also required that all shirts be tucked in. I can’t remember if she had problems with that – it seems like she did.

The worst violence inflicted on my daughter by that woman was when Brianna was tested for disabilities. She had a 25 point split between her non-verbal and verbal IQ scores. They decided that even with this clear indicator of a disability, she did not qualify for services. I asked what would happen to her if she failed – as she was doing great on all of her tests, she was having trouble keeping up with assignments. Obviously she was learning, what would holding her back do for her? I will never forget that evil woman’s face as she told me: “She will learn to be obedient and follow the rules.  That is what she will learn”.

Thank goodness her pediatrician saw things differently – he took the test scores and sent her someplace that diagnosed her with sensory integration disorder. And thank goodness I am stubborn as hell. I knew that principal was wrong. I knew I had to figure out how to help my daughter.

Which leads me to this:

The environment in which the teacher who allowed the class to vote that child out of the classroom may not be an environment which allows her to understand differences. The school has a dress code – that is an indicator of control. Most of the public schools who have instituted dress codes are in lower socio-economic backgrounds. Thanks to Jeb Bush and One Florida, Florida schools must attain a certain grade or they lose funding. Many of the Florida schools have used the dress code as means of instilling discipline -control – in their students. Even though studies have proven that the uniforms don’t really change things.

For students with sensory difficulties, being required to wear clothing that is uncomfortable or to keep the clothing tucked in can be a nightmare. The sensory difficulties can induce a fright or flight response. I wonder if that is at the root of this kid’s outbursts – maybe just having an accommodation for the sensory issues induced by the uniform would help.

To someone who has never had to deal with a child with sensory issues, the meltdowns do look like behavioral issues. Think of this teacher for a sec, if the sensory issues are at the root of the problem here. She probably has no idea of sensory issues, she just knows she has to make the little boy act a certain way. How will she ever learn if the entire autism community comes down on her? What she did was awful, but we have a responsibility to turn it into a teaching moment.  She can’t hate kids and be a kindergarten teacher – I just don’t think it’s possible.

But she could have misinterpreted what was happening with this little boy. This little boy’s parents are also new to what his issues are. Those of us who have been down that road with our kids, or those of you with the same issues, please try and show some patience. Let’s try to make something good come from this very horrible situation.

If anyone from Morningside Elementary reads this, this article would be a good place to start. Actually, maybe admitting that what you did was wrong would be the first place to start. Then working to educate yourselves and the parents of the little boy about how to help him succeed in school should be your goal.