My brain is fried. I want to try and finish a blog post (for work…), and finish some messaging work I started.
So of course I’m here blogging to just make sense of things.
I think one reason my brain is fried is that the numbness over my dad dying has started to wear off. And I’m just having lots of feels. I’m trying to stay with it – and feel the feels (like I keep telling my mama to do) – but it has been very hard. Until a couple of days ago. Now I just get flashes of emotion…it goes between anger and extreme sorrow. Mom says she’s feeling that way too.
Daddy died five weeks ago, September 14.
Mama told me a story today. It made me remember that all the data we see about how tech is only for young people is just flat out wrong. My parents played some farming game on their Wii. Mama played every day when I stayed with her right after Daddy died – she’d play when I got on calls. So funny. Playing that silly game is a way for her to relieve stress.
Today she told me she had to delete Daddy’s profile. Every time she logged in, she’d see it. She just couldn’t take it any more. So even though it made her sad, she deleted it. And then she felt a little better.
That totally broke my heart.
The emotion is zapping my energy. Those stories, about him being truly gone, are just too much. I’m having a hard time finding the processing power for anything else.
Which Daddy would not stand for. Good thing I have plenty to keep me occupied.